Posted by: susanideus | June 14, 2010

Home Alone

I wake expectant, hoping to see a new thing. ~Annie Dillard

For the first time since this process of moving back to New Mexico began, I am alone. Johanna has her own place and has started training classes, and Harold reported bright and early to his new job as well. So, this day is a first for me.

This is the beginning, my beginning, my starting point for whatever lies ahead. My time is mine alone now, to do or not to do whatever I wish with it. That may take some getting used to…

It’s quiet, I have an inspiring view, I am exactly where I want to be at this moment in time—so where are the words?

My mind is still whirling with thoughts of what still needs to be done, as I sit amongst piles of boxes. Still thinking about whether I’ve changed all the necessary addresses and notified everyone who needs to know we moved. Still caught up in the frantic pace we kept up for 3 weeks trying to make all of this happen.

My Space My “Space”

I wanted to sit down today and write. Instead, I think I’m going to have to unpack a few more boxes and lend some order to the chaos around me. I’ll find those things that have their home on my desk, that inspire me and define my space. Maybe then, maybe tomorrow, when I’m home alone…

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Responses

  1. Write. Believe me, those boxes will wait. (I have some that have waited, waited, waited, and are still waiting, yet life goes on.) Write.

    • I haven’t stopped writing completely, Trilla. I have my haiku, for which I have so much new material. I just haven’t been able to settle in for long sessions of the “serious” stuff I want to get done. I guess I can’t ever get away from the writing, no matter what. I have notes on everything imaginable, from movie tickets to napkins to church bulletins. I do that constantly–now I need to make some sense of them! I have the time!

  2. Do what you want, when you want. Enjoy!

    • I’m learning. I’ve looked forward to this for so long that you’d think I could jump right in, but it still feels strange. Each day, the sense of “I have to do…” is lessening and I am relaxing into the situation. Part of me still doesn’t deal well with change, albeit a welcome one. I need to have “my space” in some sort of familiar order/disorder. Can you tell I’m a control freak in recovery? LOL!


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