Posted by: susanideus | June 9, 2007

Would you like a little cheese with that whine?

One of those days…stubbed toes, spilled cups, dropped papers, forgot to hit <save> on my computer.

Then there’s my blasted back.  I can do very little in a physical way.  It’s Saturday and time to grocery shop.  Well, I’m limited to lifting 5 pounds — let’s see, I could put things in the cart.  Pushing the cart itself might be pushing my limit.  No cases of water or soda.  So, I could sort of shop, but I couldn’t get the groceries into the house.  Sounds futile to me.

I can’t vacuum, can’t move around the SpotBot, which definitely needs doing.  No lifting a big batch of wet laundry.  Move it one piece at a time.  AAARRRGGGGHHH!!

I know this will pass.  The disks can’t be repaired, but my back will get stronger.  The pain will go away, or at least lessen.  Still, the therapist told me yesterday it will be 3 to 5 weeks.  Have I ever mentioned my little problems with patience?

What’s really bothered me most is that this is turning me into a whiner.  I’m grumpy, I don’t want to be around people.  The nonsense that goes on at work gets on my last nerve.  And then there’s the fact that I’ve missed work and me with no sick leave.  Half the time I can’t concentrate if the pain level is high, but I can’t function (or safely drive) if I take full doses of the pain medication and muscle relaxant.  If I fight the pain all day, I’m more exhausted than ever when I get home — and poor Harold gets the resulting misery of putting up with me.  He’s a saint, really!!

I am finding my way, though, into biofeedback & relaxation techniques, thanks to tips from my friend Helen.  It works better for me than most anyting else.  Now if I just had a couch and a door that shuts at work….

Just keep repeating — this will pass, this will pass…

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